Incestuous smugness and Self-loathing

Its startling to observe those around us, who are doing well by all indicators -- arbiters of various persuasions; getting bent out of shape at common courtesies and expressions, including words /phrases such as - thank you, sharing, engaging together; like to be of help, etc. If one is driven to anticipate lurking motives behind such utterances in spite of knowing the utterer-- then perhaps one is living in some form of incestuous smugness and self-loathing; seeking parity with others in that they abide by shared fears.